Medical Screening/Meeting

Next Tuesday we fly to New York for our medical screening on Wednesday and also to meet our amazing IFs.  They are planning on picking us up from the airport and spending the day together.  We will take a train that night to CT. and have the screening the next morning.  We are so happy we will get to spend some time together with these guys and are looking forward to it.  Also it will be nice to be medically cleared.  I'm hoping for no surprises!!! 

January

I just found out the guys are thinking January for the transfer. Great that we don't have to worry about the holidays but seems SO far away.

Screening?

I just got AF so I start BC pills on Sunday.  My best guess was that our screening would be at the end of October.  When I sent an email to the guys they were hoping to do it the first half of this month.  Wow!  This could help move up the timeline also if they get an egg donor soon, or not I guess.  I am a little nervous about everything happening during the holidays so sooner is better or later but just not the week of Christmas:)...or Thanksgiving..we hope.  The best part is just the idea that we get to meet, sit down and visit with these amazing guys.  So excited and just waiting to hear back on the final dates.

AF

I am now anxiously awaiting AF.  Of all things:)  Our trip will revolve around when I start and it will be nice to have an idea when that may be.  I call once it starts to setup my medical screening, which in turn leads to meds, etc. etc.  So come on, let's get this thing going!!  Who knew the kinds of things I'd be wishing for when I started this process, lol.

I had my IUD removed today. Um, scary. Not the removal part. That took about 2 seconds, but the now we can get pregnant part. The reason the timing for surrogacy was so right is how sure we are we are done having our own kids. This is about helping someone else make a family...not oops we did it again. NO babies for us. Plus I haven't been on the pill in years. Kinda feel like I'm back in my early 20s. Ok, the flip side of all this is NOW WE CAN GET PREGNANT(with someone else's baby) Every step brings us closer. I cant express how truly excited I am for them. They skyped me tonight with family and neighbors saying hello during their Jewish New Year celebration. All I can think about is what that celebration will look like for them next year at this time. Oh, and as non tech savie as I am I downloaded Skype on my phone in a panic last minute and it worked..no really it did work. Yeah, I wouldn't have believed it either.

Catch up

Only a little under two weeks have passed since my last post but I was shocked when I checked my calendar. Not even 2 weeks?? We said yes to the profile we received on Thursday afternoon, the 15th:) They are an international couple living in New York City. Initially that seemed a little intimidating but before long we became excited by the possibilties. What a life this child will live surrounded by so many cultures and getting to see so much of the world. We received an email Friday night, the 16th that they were thrilled with our profile. We weren't sure how our normal everyday life could thrill but we went with it!! That Sunday night we skyped and had a wonderful hour long conversation. It was two couples hoping to like each other and looking forward to the next exciting phase in our lives. We got along great, talked about love and family and walked away very hopeful. I did make sure they didnt have a problem with an epidural. I know Im not pregnant yet but that was the only deal breaker I could think of:) I'm not sure they were really familiar with what I was saying but it was nice to have it it out in the open:) September 19th we we're officially matched. We have been emailing back and forth since. A flury of emails, new contacts within the agency and scheduling appointments took up that week. Also we talked to our kids about our plans. They immedialty asked if they could skype the guys too, which showed us how accepting and excited they truly were. Fast forward to this week. I received birth control pills in the mail today, get my IUD removed tomorrow and call the fertility clinic when I start my period to schedule my screening. On day 3 of AF I start the birth control pills. From what the clinic said it will probably start within 3 days. So that means by next week we should be planning our first trip. Uncertanties-the guys are still picking an egg donor. They also haven't mentioned when they plan for us to meet. They have family in town and have been swamped. We have decided to take the back off approach as we were beginning to feel like they may feel we were being a little needy. Or more like we were being a little needy, realized it and decided to back off. Let's not put this on the guys, they have been quick to respond and super nice!! It's just that we had the read the back cover of a book version of a conversation which left us really wanting to sit down, open it up and spend all night reading it feeling. Whereas they seem to have a life. I swear when my friend said this process is just like dating she wasn't kidding. Luckily with cell phones I don't have to wait at home wondering when they are going to call...lol. Thankfully we did get to meet my friend's IF who was in town with his 3 month old. They are planning a sibling:) If there ever was any proof needed that we made the right decision it was sitting across the table from this amazing wonderful man that was made to be a father and a baby that had just been waiting for this moment to be born. They were perfect and everything a family should be. So we hurry up and wait, which for now is hurry up and remove my IUD then wait for AF. I don't expect much more than that out of this week so I am planning to take time and get ahead at work and focus on enjoying time with the family. Our IFs family heads home later this week so I imagine things will get moving there as well next week. I'm happy for the guys they had their family visit at such an exciting time though, as my friend's IF will appreciate it must have been meant to be:)

Still feeling good

I took the MMPI Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. The Dr. giving the test said I should hear back from the agency by the end of the week. I fully prepared myself to hear Friday how it went, maybe hoping to look at profiles next week. That seems to be about how the process is moving, a good steady pace. Tuesday afternoon and on to Wednesday morning I relaxed thinking we had the week break while the agency did their thing. I pulled up outside our babysitter's house and my email dinged. I looked down at my phone and my who heart jumped a beat. The title read Profile. I got the babies out and settled in with Shawna, who is amazing by the way and still couldn't open the email. I stopped and got breakfast, which I couldn't eat, still no email, then pulled into work. STILL didn't open the email. By the time I reached my desk at work I was laughing at myself. I knew when I told my husband he wouldn't believe it. I open/handle/respond to everything immediately. Why couldn't I open this email? When you have something you have been dreaming about and working towards for 2 months, but feels like you've been meant for this moment your whole life its sureal to have it right in front of you. I'm very glad in hindsight this time has passed since my husband and I started this process. It seems we learn more about it every day, good and bad, UPS and downs to help us understand something that we couldn't possibly truely understand until we are looking back on our time. I received the email at 0754, I read it for the first time at 930. And had tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart. These people are awesome. After being up until 2:00 a.m. Thursday morning going over every detail, guessing, dreaming we had one final call with our social worker and knew they were the ones. So, now we wait. I'm so calm. I hope they love us, but it is out of our hands. I do know 100% we made the right decision by picking them.

I did my MMPI test on Tuesday. It was quick,painless and had me feeling rather sane. As I read all the questions its asking and imagine the different things like depression, paranoi, drug use it reminds me a little to feel happy and thankful for our full wonderful life. And days that get hectic, busy, one of the kids act up it is still a pretty great not that stressful event. Life is good.

Anticipation

My husband and I just completed the screening with the Social Worker from the agency.  It went great.  My appointment was around 2 1/2 hours and my husband's was close to 1 hour.  We spent time covering all my 38 years, relationships, children, lifestyles.  I sit and wonder what I didn't say about myself that I would like the IPs to know, what I said out of nervousness that isn't really me and just in general what kind of picture we painted of ourselves and family.  This is what someone is going to use to base their decision on who will have their baby.  I also wondered at the end of the conversation would we pick me to have our baby:)
There was also a lot of details about the process and things to think about as far as what we would like our journey to look like, what kind of people would we fit with.  It would need to be someone that can learn to love our loud, boisterous family and share in our laughter.   
Just as we are excitedly awaiting a profile of a couple to share the next year of our life with, someone out there is anxiously awaiting news that there is a surrogate for them.  I'm sure the waiting for them is 10 times what we feel anticipating the next steps.  I remind myself of that every once in awhile and it keeps me patient.
We are supposed to receive 2 profiles to review anytime.  Legal is making sure they are an appropriate fit before they send them which is important but knowing they are out there and not being able to review them is torture:)  We do know they are 2 sets of IFs from New York City.  What if we love them both?  Without knowing what the profiles entail it is hard to know what we will use to base our decisions on.  What will be that one thing that makes us say YES, they are the ones for us!! 
I wondered aloud to my husband if they may know a couple who our friend is embarking on a second journey with that are IFs from New York also and he looked at me like I'm crazy.  Yes, I know New York is a big city.  This just seems like such a small group that it seemed possible for a minute.  A very short minute:) 
Also this week I am going to be set up for my MMPI (psych evaluation).  It is supposed to take around 45 minutes and I will complete it while on Skype with a Social Worker.  I think having someone stare at me while I'm taking it may make me feel a little crazy.  What if I laugh at the questions out loud?  Anyway, it's nice to keep checking these steps off the list. 

My hopes

My appointment with my new OB is a week from Monday.  This gives us some time to get the kids settled in school this week and our son Tadhg turns 1 on Saturday.  He is walking like crazy and such a climber!!
Once I get the letter from my doctor I think I move on to the interview with the Social Worker.  I'm thinking the next week or two after this will be busy, hopefully ending with profiles of an IP. 
My hope would be that we get someone in the US.  I want to go through the pregnancy with them, hopes, ups, downs, everything.  This will be their pregnancy as well as their baby and I am really hoping we end up with someone that wants to be a part of every moment.  I would like to share doctor appointments and my growing belly. 
I am also hoping for someone having their first.  It is such an exciting thing.  Not that you aren't happy with any after that but you're also busy and distracted.  Since this is all new to me it would be fun if it is also new to them. 
Of course we know how life goes, you don't always end up with what you think you want and it still can end up being everything you need.  I may laugh as I look back on this post in the next month. 

Paperwork

All the paperwork is complete-Check.  I contacted my doctor and hospital to get medical records and they were sent in-Check.  My doctor gave me clearance to proceed because I had an abnormal pap last time around-Check.  So everything was sent to the IVF doctor to review.  I was on pins and needles because this seemed like the point where we would have an idea of where our life would be for the next year of so. 

Also work has become more of a 40 hour a week thing, instead of an always on call, travel, pull my hair out thing.  This had me thinking about taking some college classes this semester...then....the surrogacy thing kinda reared it happy head.  However, hearing they have such stringent guidelines I wasn't sure we would make it through.  My age (38), advanced as it is...my last pap or who knows what they worry about.  But.. he cleared me!! 

This was the point in the process that I told myself it becomes real...exciting...but, as I'm learning through everyone else's blogs (thank goodness) it's all about hurry up and wait.  The IVF doctor wanted a note from my OB that we've discussed the risks of having a 6th baby.  Since I've birthed 5 of our 6 kids.  There is actually a name for it, grand parity I think.  As we are positive we are done having our own kids this doesn't concern me to much, as well as knowing in any pregnancy there are natural risks we take and of course we have discussed this. (and google helps)  This seems simple enough except that my OB moved to Washington D.C. right before I started this process so I'm switching doctors to top it off.  My new doctor is unable to get me in until August 29th, because apparently he wants to meet me, which is nice but waiting is annoying for a short conversation.  Although 3 weeks is apparently faster than the 2 months most of the other doctors take as he is newer to the practice.  Who knew:) 

BUT knowing this is only a necessary consultation and the IVF doctor has already accepted me is fantastic, knowing from the surro blogs I have been reading that waiting is part of the process, knowing that the agency we are using is doing everything by the book (if there is a book for this sort of thing!) and not taking shortcuts is reasurring and knowing that before we know it we will be helping someone's dreams come true makes the waiting worthwhile.

Is it August 29th yet??

Beginning sort of

I recently started the process to become a surrogate.  It's something that has been in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember so when I finally said it out loud it just seemed to fit.  My friend recently completed her second journey.  Talking to her about her experience and knowing she had worked with a reputable agency and was so comfortable with the process to do it a second time and considering a third kind of put it all together for me.  Here was a starting point. 

My husband had commented several times how amazed he was that our friend would do this for someone.  And he loves me being pregnant but we are SO done having our own!  We have a blended family of six kids ranging in ages from thirteen to eleven months.  We love them all and have a very loving and busy family but we are very happy we are no longer getting up every two hours with a newborn and are celebrating that fact :)
 
This brings us to mid July when I submitted our application (somewhat on accident, oops).  Then figured I'd better bring my husband up to speed.  Luckily he was thrilled with the idea!  He loves to help anyone, anytime.  It just made sense to him since this is something we do so easily that why wouldn't we do this.