Friday, September 30, 2011


I just got AF so I start BC pills on Sunday.  My best guess was that our screening would be at the end of October.  When I sent an email to the guys they were hoping to do it the first half of this month.  Wow!  This could help move up the timeline also if they get an egg donor soon, or not I guess.  I am a little nervous about everything happening during the holidays so sooner is better or later but just not the week of Christmas:)...or Thanksgiving..we hope.  The best part is just the idea that we get to meet, sit down and visit with these amazing guys.  So excited and just waiting to hear back on the final dates.

Thursday, September 29, 2011


I am now anxiously awaiting AF.  Of all things:)  Our trip will revolve around when I start and it will be nice to have an idea when that may be.  I call once it starts to setup my medical screening, which in turn leads to meds, etc. etc.  So come on, let's get this thing going!!  Who knew the kinds of things I'd be wishing for when I started this process, lol.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I had my IUD removed today. Um, scary. Not the removal part. That took about 2 seconds, but the now we can get pregnant part. The reason the timing for surrogacy was so right is how sure we are we are done having our own kids. This is about helping someone else make a family...not oops we did it again. NO babies for us. Plus I haven't been on the pill in years. Kinda feel like I'm back in my early 20s. Ok, the flip side of all this is NOW WE CAN GET PREGNANT(with someone else's baby) Every step brings us closer. I cant express how truly excited I am for them. They skyped me tonight with family and neighbors saying hello during their Jewish New Year celebration. All I can think about is what that celebration will look like for them next year at this time. Oh, and as non tech savie as I am I downloaded Skype on my phone in a panic last minute and it really it did work. Yeah, I wouldn't have believed it either.

Catch up

Only a little under two weeks have passed since my last post but I was shocked when I checked my calendar. Not even 2 weeks?? We said yes to the profile we received on Thursday afternoon, the 15th:) They are an international couple living in New York City. Initially that seemed a little intimidating but before long we became excited by the possibilties. What a life this child will live surrounded by so many cultures and getting to see so much of the world. We received an email Friday night, the 16th that they were thrilled with our profile. We weren't sure how our normal everyday life could thrill but we went with it!! That Sunday night we skyped and had a wonderful hour long conversation. It was two couples hoping to like each other and looking forward to the next exciting phase in our lives. We got along great, talked about love and family and walked away very hopeful. I did make sure they didnt have a problem with an epidural. I know Im not pregnant yet but that was the only deal breaker I could think of:) I'm not sure they were really familiar with what I was saying but it was nice to have it it out in the open:) September 19th we we're officially matched. We have been emailing back and forth since. A flury of emails, new contacts within the agency and scheduling appointments took up that week. Also we talked to our kids about our plans. They immedialty asked if they could skype the guys too, which showed us how accepting and excited they truly were. Fast forward to this week. I received birth control pills in the mail today, get my IUD removed tomorrow and call the fertility clinic when I start my period to schedule my screening. On day 3 of AF I start the birth control pills. From what the clinic said it will probably start within 3 days. So that means by next week we should be planning our first trip. Uncertanties-the guys are still picking an egg donor. They also haven't mentioned when they plan for us to meet. They have family in town and have been swamped. We have decided to take the back off approach as we were beginning to feel like they may feel we were being a little needy. Or more like we were being a little needy, realized it and decided to back off. Let's not put this on the guys, they have been quick to respond and super nice!! It's just that we had the read the back cover of a book version of a conversation which left us really wanting to sit down, open it up and spend all night reading it feeling. Whereas they seem to have a life. I swear when my friend said this process is just like dating she wasn't kidding. Luckily with cell phones I don't have to wait at home wondering when they are going to Thankfully we did get to meet my friend's IF who was in town with his 3 month old. They are planning a sibling:) If there ever was any proof needed that we made the right decision it was sitting across the table from this amazing wonderful man that was made to be a father and a baby that had just been waiting for this moment to be born. They were perfect and everything a family should be. So we hurry up and wait, which for now is hurry up and remove my IUD then wait for AF. I don't expect much more than that out of this week so I am planning to take time and get ahead at work and focus on enjoying time with the family. Our IFs family heads home later this week so I imagine things will get moving there as well next week. I'm happy for the guys they had their family visit at such an exciting time though, as my friend's IF will appreciate it must have been meant to be:)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Still feeling good

I took the MMPI Tuesday at 11:00 a.m. The Dr. giving the test said I should hear back from the agency by the end of the week. I fully prepared myself to hear Friday how it went, maybe hoping to look at profiles next week. That seems to be about how the process is moving, a good steady pace. Tuesday afternoon and on to Wednesday morning I relaxed thinking we had the week break while the agency did their thing. I pulled up outside our babysitter's house and my email dinged. I looked down at my phone and my who heart jumped a beat. The title read Profile. I got the babies out and settled in with Shawna, who is amazing by the way and still couldn't open the email. I stopped and got breakfast, which I couldn't eat, still no email, then pulled into work. STILL didn't open the email. By the time I reached my desk at work I was laughing at myself. I knew when I told my husband he wouldn't believe it. I open/handle/respond to everything immediately. Why couldn't I open this email? When you have something you have been dreaming about and working towards for 2 months, but feels like you've been meant for this moment your whole life its sureal to have it right in front of you. I'm very glad in hindsight this time has passed since my husband and I started this process. It seems we learn more about it every day, good and bad, UPS and downs to help us understand something that we couldn't possibly truely understand until we are looking back on our time. I received the email at 0754, I read it for the first time at 930. And had tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart. These people are awesome. After being up until 2:00 a.m. Thursday morning going over every detail, guessing, dreaming we had one final call with our social worker and knew they were the ones. So, now we wait. I'm so calm. I hope they love us, but it is out of our hands. I do know 100% we made the right decision by picking them.
I did my MMPI test on Tuesday. It was quick,painless and had me feeling rather sane. As I read all the questions its asking and imagine the different things like depression, paranoi, drug use it reminds me a little to feel happy and thankful for our full wonderful life. And days that get hectic, busy, one of the kids act up it is still a pretty great not that stressful event. Life is good.

Monday, September 12, 2011


My husband and I just completed the screening with the Social Worker from the agency.  It went great.  My appointment was around 2 1/2 hours and my husband's was close to 1 hour.  We spent time covering all my 38 years, relationships, children, lifestyles.  I sit and wonder what I didn't say about myself that I would like the IPs to know, what I said out of nervousness that isn't really me and just in general what kind of picture we painted of ourselves and family.  This is what someone is going to use to base their decision on who will have their baby.  I also wondered at the end of the conversation would we pick me to have our baby:)
There was also a lot of details about the process and things to think about as far as what we would like our journey to look like, what kind of people would we fit with.  It would need to be someone that can learn to love our loud, boisterous family and share in our laughter.   
Just as we are excitedly awaiting a profile of a couple to share the next year of our life with, someone out there is anxiously awaiting news that there is a surrogate for them.  I'm sure the waiting for them is 10 times what we feel anticipating the next steps.  I remind myself of that every once in awhile and it keeps me patient.
We are supposed to receive 2 profiles to review anytime.  Legal is making sure they are an appropriate fit before they send them which is important but knowing they are out there and not being able to review them is torture:)  We do know they are 2 sets of IFs from New York City.  What if we love them both?  Without knowing what the profiles entail it is hard to know what we will use to base our decisions on.  What will be that one thing that makes us say YES, they are the ones for us!! 
I wondered aloud to my husband if they may know a couple who our friend is embarking on a second journey with that are IFs from New York also and he looked at me like I'm crazy.  Yes, I know New York is a big city.  This just seems like such a small group that it seemed possible for a minute.  A very short minute:) 
Also this week I am going to be set up for my MMPI (psych evaluation).  It is supposed to take around 45 minutes and I will complete it while on Skype with a Social Worker.  I think having someone stare at me while I'm taking it may make me feel a little crazy.  What if I laugh at the questions out loud?  Anyway, it's nice to keep checking these steps off the list.